About Me

If we neglect our inner calls, they haunt us. We have to face the truth. Our truth. And follow it. No matter how arduous the journey. Ignoring it is always more painful.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been writing stories. Much of my childhood I spent filling journals, especially when my family and I travelled European countries and sailed foreign seas. Daydreaming was one of my favorite pastimes, along with creating things, exploring new places, and reading. I would write countless letters, little stories, and poetry. I wrote by hand, and sometimes used my grandfather’s old typewriter.

“Beatlemania” – a short story I wrote as a teenager

The older I got, the more I lost touch with my writing.

My years at university were filled with detours, because there was so much to discover: Philosophy, French, Medieval Studies, Oriental Studies, Musicology. I also moved to England to get my Diploma in Performing Arts/ Music, but…

I was lost. Battling my demons took up most of my energy, and eventually my life fell apart. Hitting rock bottom, I opened up to vulnerability and truth, and I rose.

As I was healing, the magic began to unfold.

Eventually, I got my B.A. in German and English Language, Literature, and Culture. I wrote my thesis on the topic of narrative techniques in the fairy tales of the brothers Grimm and fell in love even more with those old European tales.

What I didn’t know then was that studying literature was the closest thing to being a writer without having to face self-doubt and inner resistance. Immersing myself in the works of other authors, in research and theory, I dreamed of writing my own. Someday.

Meanwhile, writing papers at university worked fine, because there were dead lines. So I thought, becoming a journalist might be a good compromise. I tried it out and it worked. I would write late into the evening to get articles finished.

But where was the magic, the enchantment?

I had to admit to myself that I’d rather write down the ideas & stories that were spinning in my head. And still, most of my attempts were munched up by internal resistance.

Alas! A writer who doesn’t write is such a tragic character!

The call wouldn’t leave me alone, though I tried hard to run from it.

Then soon after I moved to the United States, I encountered amazing people who helped me get out of my own way.

Ah, the American Spirit! It changed me. I began to believe in myself and my dream.

I learned such precious lessons. I discovered that many writers struggle like this. I found ways of handling the wicked little “resistance monster”. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so odd and isolated anymore. It felt like coming home.

Switching my writing language from German to English was and continues to be a challenge, but so is being an “alien.”

Recently, I rediscovered the joy of drawing. What I first suspected to be a distraction from writing turned out to be a charming merge of the two.

And I fell in love with the idea of taking YOU with me on this journey of creative exploration!

Now, I’m following my heart to touch yours: May this bring you as much joy as it does me. And may my story inspire & invigorate you to follow the music of your heart as well.

13 little stories about me

  1. I’m a teacher at a Lifeways (Waldorf-style) Early Childhood Center. But in truth the kids are my teachers and inspire me all the time. I love having fun with them, making up silly songs and telling them about the alligator in my backyard pond.
  2. Some of my best ideas come either while I’m sleeping or driving.
    There’s always a notepad and pen on my nightstand, so I can write even when the lights are out. And in my car, I’ve a attached a pad of sticky notes right by the steering wheel, so I can write when the lights are red.
  3. Growing up, I loved writing letters with ink and a fountain pen and had many pen pals. In fact, my husband and I were writing letters to each other for 10 years back and forth between Germany and USA, before we became a couple. Back then, I resisted getting an email account. I wanted something real. It had to be handwritten letters – with emotion, time and energy put into it. That’s how we really got to know each other.
  4. I have a German Shepard. Wolfi. He’s bigger than me. Hope he’ll never realize that!
  5. I’m madly in love with Kung Fu. Working out never used to be part of my world, until I found this fascinating martial art. The training is intense: merciless and violent, yet graceful and spiritual. My dog disagrees. If I dare start practicing around him he unleashes the police dog inside of him…
  6. Even though I’ve always been apprehensive towards the new technology, I was the first one of my friends (geez, perhaps even the first teenager!?) who had a cell phone. It was in the 90s, and my first apartment didn’t have a phone line. So, I got my dad’s old cell phone, which was huge and heavy like a brick!
  7. I grew up listening to the pioneers of country music: Hank Williams, Carl Smith, Johnny Cash, just to name a few. I could sing their songs when I was about 3 years old, but without having a clue about what the words meant. I was never aware that I get a Southern accent when singing American folk or country until real Americans recently told me so.
  8. After a bad day, I find it cathartic to watch some episodes of “Malcolm in the Middle”. I do love 80s shows like Columbo, Magnum, or the Fraggles… and I’m used to getting weird looks for that.
  9. As a child, I recorded 9 cassette tapes of stories about a girl who is intolerably bold. Someday, I might turn those spoken stories into books…
  10. When I was 12, I decided to finally write a proper (really thick!) novel. I started writing it on my mom’s typewriter. Volunteering at the SPCA as a child, my novel was about a sad lab named Lulu, who was waiting to find a new home. But I never got past the first chapter…
  11. When I was 16, I went to high school in England. I stayed in a tiny little town by the sea in an old pub (that was said to be haunted). I lived with the owners upstairs and enjoyed helping in the kitchen. One night, Keith Richards (yes, from the Rolling Stones) stopped by for dinner with some friends. I didn’t believe it until he walked right past me. Since I was too shy to ask him for his autograph, one of the regulars sitting at the bar gave me his…
  12. I’m in my late 30s, but according to my husband, I have a toddler’s sense of humor. I also suffer from sudden, seemingly random laughing fits that inevitably end with tears and severe tummy cramps. It’s pretty serious.
  13. I love the smell of especially older books. When I pick up a book (and nobody is looking) I habitually leaf through the pages and breathe in that wonderfully distinct and earthy smell. If there was a perfume like this…
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